Are you addicted to being in love? Or more accurately, are you addicted to being in a romantic relationship? Are you ready to undergo any hardship, suffer anything – including humiliation, physical, and emotional abuse – just to be in a relationship? Do you feel incomplete and almost panicked at the thought of being alone, not part of a couple? If yes, you are most probably addicted to being in a relationship. It’s not always accurate to call it “addicted to love”, because what happens in some relationships is far from “love.” Below are seven signs that you could be addicted to a relationship.
1. You are obsessed with your lover
You spend your waking hours thinking about your partner. You value your companion above all else and above yourself and your comfort. Like a drug addict, you get your high from being with your partner. You will not leave, even if your partner mistreats you.
2. You feel you can’t live without your partner
“I can’t live without you.” This might sound romantic at first, but if you or your partner says that, you need to step back and reassess the situation. It’s a danger sign. Nobody should feel their life hangs on another person. Nobody should be dependent on another person to sustain their life.
3. You live for the time you spend with your significant other
You are at the beck and call of your partner. You are ready to drop everything at a moment’s notice if your lover calls. To make matters worse, your partner is habitually late and at times stands you up, without a valid reason. Your companion does not respect your time, but you keep forgiving them.
4. You believe your companion is the answer to your every problem
When you’re addicted to relationships, you believe your partner can heal you. You turn your partner into God, believing they can solve all your problems. You depend on your partner for identity, self-worth, and security. You feel you’re nothing without your partner.
5. You’re ready to do anything to make the relationship work
Even when your partner mistreats you, you forgive them, convincing yourself that if only you behaved better, your partner would treat you well. Relationship addicts blame themselves for everything that goes wrong with the relationship. They strive to “behave better” so the partner would not leave.
6. You try to monitor your partner’s every move
When you’re not with your companion, you want to know where they are, with whom, and what they are doing. To stay close to your partner, you keep calling and texting; smothering your lover. This is “clingy” behavior, and it ends up pulling you apart rather than drawing you closer.
7. You keep asking for a status report on the relationship
“Where is this relationship going?” you keep asking. This is a sign of insecurity. Instead of drawing you closer, this will drive a wedge into the relationship.
How to Stop Being Addicted to a Relationship
You need to wean yourself out of your clingy, needy behavior. You need to shake your addiction to being in a relationship. To achieve that, do the following:
• Maintain your distance
Keep a distance from your partner. Spend time away from them. After all, it’s said, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Give each other space to grow as individuals.
• Develop your own interests
Whether it is gardening, painting, sculpturing, or any other interest, cultivate and engage in activities that you enjoy, away from your loved one. Join a club or a group that participates in something you like.
• Build confidence in yourself
Build self-confidence and love yourself. Convince yourself that you are worthy of love. When you are confident, then you will learn to trust your partner and not monitor them. This will make for a healthier relationship.
• Relax and let the relationship take its course
Don’t try to force the relationship to go a certain way; just enjoy it and let things happen in their own time. If the relationship is right, it will progress on its own naturally, without being forced.
Being needy and dependent is unhealthy and unattractive. To form healthy, lasting relationships, you need to develop self-confidence and be supportive, without being clingy.