Bill Bailey Quotes

In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life. Without unity, we are victims. Stay united.

Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.

Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.

The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don’t have these.

The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.

Contentment is knowing you’re right

I try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.

I’m English, and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.

There we go, that’s it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.

Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.

Work hard, save and live within your means.

This shed does not contain me.