Bill Hicks Quotes

I’m an American who loves an America which doesn’t exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.

…I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An ‘avenging GOD’? One who created Hell for those who don’t believe? I thought we were the perfect and holy children of GOD? How could any limits possibly be put upon us? Hell.. really? I’m sorry, but… no. Wrong. You’re wrong. That’s an insane GOD and therefore not mine. Because, see, GOD would be very sane, don’t you get it?

Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts…Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.

Don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.

Humanity is just a virus with shoes.

I’ve learned a lot about women. I think I’ve learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we’ll never age, we’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?

Mister, I don’t want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don’t even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain’t looking for no trouble, Mister.

I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.

Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes–are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!

Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs…shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a ‘well-regulated militia’?

A lotta Christians wear crosses ’round their necks; do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross?

I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.