David Cross Quotes

I think it was there before, but – because of social media, too – there are these people who fancy themselves as tolerant, and don’t see the hypocrisy and double standard of how they’re not tolerant at all, and they’re just strident and they don’t listen. There’s no dialogue anymore. That’s maybe, truly, the worst part of Trump’s legacy is just people yelling at each other.

In my political philosophy – which is definitely more socialist Democrat than centrist politician like Hillary Clinton – I think regulation for banks and those platforms that Bernie Sanders had are good for the whole of America.

I was born Jewish, but I am an atheist. I dont believe in God.

I did one of the worst shows for that kind of thing in Northampton, Massachusetts, which is one of the most liberal spots on the planet. There were numerous people who walked out, somebody had thrown a beer, I had people yelling and screaming.

It’s a lot of anti-gay, racist humor—which people like in America—all couched in ‘I’m telling it like it is.’ He’s in the right place at the right time for that gee-shucks, proud-to-be-a-redneck, I’m-just-a-straight-shooter-multimillionaire-in-cutoff-flannel-selling-ring-tones act. That’s where we are as a nation now. We’re in a state of vague American values and anti-intellectual pride.

I lived in LA for almost nine years and if I never went back there again it would be fine.

I don’t mean this to sound hyperbolic but there are increasingly, albeit really minor, similarities between now and how Germany was lulled into what happened pre-WW2.

Back when the Bible was written, then edited, then rewritten, then rewritten, then re-edited, then translated from dead languages, then re-translated, then edited, then rewritten, then given to kings for them to take their favorite parts, then rewritten, then re-rewritten, then translated again, then given to the pope for him to approve, then rewritten, then edited again, the re-re-re-re-rewritten again…all based on stories that were told orally 30 to 90 years AFTER they happened.. to people who didnt know how to write… so…

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It’s like having a war on jealousy.

I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I’m not a Republican. I’m not a member of the party of inclusion. Wonderful, tolerant, rational human beings they are.

You have to have some level of attachment, you can still have passion and believe but it has to be softened somewhat.

I have a few business ideas (that I’m going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.