Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you; And that cleans up the matter.
How do people go to sleep? I’m afraid I’ve lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.
I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.
It’s easier to write about those you hate — just as it’s easier to criticize a bad play or a bad book.
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
[On Lou Tellegen’s Women Have Been Kind:] The book … has all the elegance of a quirked little finger and all the glitter of a pair of new rubbers.
The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
I don’t mind anything that’s written about me, as long as it’s not true.
Now, look, baby, ‘Union’ is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
[To the British actor who annoyed her by repeated references to his busy ‘shedule’:] I think you’re full of skit.
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.