Dorothy Parker Quotes

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.

Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

Sure, you make money writing on the coast … but that money is like so much compressed snow. It goes so fast it melts in your hand.

This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you; And that cleans up the matter.

How do people go to sleep? I’m afraid I’ve lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.

I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.

It’s easier to write about those you hate — just as it’s easier to criticize a bad play or a bad book.

The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.

[On Lou Tellegen’s Women Have Been Kind:] The book … has all the elegance of a quirked little finger and all the glitter of a pair of new rubbers.