George Carlin Quotes

George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, amateur philosopher, author, and social critic. He was known for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. ...more

Birth: May 12, 1937 - Death: June 22, 2008

- George Carlin

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

- George Carlin

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Topic(s): Life , Funny , Comedy

- George Carlin

In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.

Topic(s): People , Problem , Political

- George Carlin

If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.

Topic(s): Ifs , Leader , Citizens

- George Carlin

Everyone smiles in the same language.

Topic(s): Inspirational , Life , Funny

- George Carlin

We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.

Topic(s): Funny , Nations , Humorous

- George Carlin

Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

Topic(s): People , Ideas , Funny

- George Carlin

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

Topic(s): Persons , Funny , Humor

- George Carlin

Your dog thinks you’re a god. Your cat thinks the dog’s an asshole.

Topic(s): Thinking , Dog , Cat

- George Carlin

I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious.

Topic(s): Trouble , Eating , Food

- George Carlin

When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse.

Topic(s): Ifs , Kids , Guy

- George Carlin

If we could just find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.

Topic(s): Ifs , Comedy , Genuine

12 3 4 5 →