Who will argue that 98.6 Farenheit is the right temperature for man? As for me, I decline to do it. It may be that we are all actually freezing hence the pervading stupidity of mankind. At 110 or 115 degrees even archbishops might be intelligent.

The most satisfying and ecstatic faith is almost purely agnostic. It trusts absolutely without professing to know at all.

A man full of faith is simply one who has lost the capacity for clear and realistic thought.

Why do men go to zoos?

The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think.

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner’s inquest.

God must love the rich or he wouldn’t divide so much among so few of them.

Henry James would have been vastly improved as a novelist by a few whiffs of the Chicago stockyard.

The American people, I am convinced, really detest free speech. At the slightest alarm they are ready and eager to put it down.

Philadelphia is the most pecksniffian of American cities, and thus probably leads the world.

All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.

No form of liberty is worth a darn [sic] which doesn’t give us the right to do wrong now and then.