Jimmy Carr Quotes

More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.

Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.

It is such a social thing, laughing. Two thousand people in a room laughing is such a great buzz and they tend to laugh much more in a group.

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, ‘Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?’ I said, ‘All right, but we won’t get much done.’

A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.

Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that’s partly down to confidence.

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

I may be middle class, but I’m hard. ‘Al dente’, you could say.

The tragedy for comedians is there’s nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It’s almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

Viagra has instructions: ‘Keep away from children’ – what kind of man do you think I am?

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called ‘Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking’. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.

TV’s not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that’s good but, when you walk out in front of 1,000, you think, ‘Oh my God, this had better be good’.