There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
There are only two qualities in the world: efficiency and inefficiency; and only two sorts of people: the efficient and the inefficient.
It’s not so hard to get rich as it is to know when you have gotten rich.
The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.
The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.
Anxiety will bear a lot of nuisance.
About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.
One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
Pedantry is paraded knowledge.
Morally considered, laughter is next to the Ten Commandments.
The secret of forgiving everything is to understand nothing.