Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.
A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.
I don’t mind growing old. I’m just not used to it.
He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.
Well, all’s fair in love, war and fooling the critics.
I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?
Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.
Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.
Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye… and that’s my reward… the rest goes to the government.
…the elephant smoked too much.
The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.