Be nice to people on your way up because you’ll meet them on your way down.
Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
A fellow who is always declaring that he’s no fool, usually has his suspicions.
The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn’t been asleep.
I’ve known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought.
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Women can instantly see through each other, and it’s surprising how little they observe that’s pleasant.
Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines.