I’m 23 and never been in a relationship (never had a boyfriend). I’ve just tried to focus on school and my studies and to be honest I’ve never met someone that I can connect with. I’ve decided to stay single forever because I think it’s too late to start anything at this age with no experience.
What do you think?
– Submitted by Female, 23, British Columbia
Okay. So, I realize that you are the ripe-old age of 23, but well…let’s work with what we’ve got!
Seriously?! You’re going to stay single forever because at 23 years old it’s too late to start a relationship? If there were any humor in your email I think I would assume you are joking, but sadly, I actually think you are serious.
YOU ARE A BABY! And let me start by stating something very positive. Good for you for focusing on school and studies. I am so proud of you for that! I wish more women did that. Nobody can take your education away from you. If you’re smart, you’ll spend just a few more years studying and go to graduate school too…where you would probably meet the love of your life. (Just my suggestion!) You see, way too many women spend their teens and 20s worried about finding a boyfriend or a husband, and the sad reality is that men come and go, relationships come and go…and if and when you do get married, well, you still only have a 50/50 shot at staying together and an even smaller chance of being happy if you do stay together! So…as far as investments go…school and education…much better investment.
Alright, so you’re all of 23 years old. What are we going to do with you? But seriously…you need to just stop worrying about it and about your lack of experience. Who cares?! I was your age when I met my very first (and definitely not last) boyfriend! I learned a lot, outgrew him, left him (thank God!), and moved on to learn new things about myself and the mysterious world of men. There is no shame in starting late, in fact, it’s an advantage. Now you’re at an age where you have more maturity to make serious adult decisions. At 23 you probably will have more responsible sex and choose partners more carefully than you would have at 17. That’s great…all positive stuff. You should have no regrets. I never went to prom or had a boyfriend, etc., and I turned out normal (or so I would like to think!)…you will too.
Bottom line: It’s never too late for love, whether you are 23 or 63. Unless you are dead, you are every bit as likely and as entitled to finding love and starting a new relationship as the next person. Life is short, so don’t waste any more time having regrets (of any kind). Tomorrow is a new day.
– Dr. G
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Important: Responses or feedback provided to your posts are NOT a substitute for therapy or in any way meant to be therapeutic. While I hope my feedback will be beneficial, please understand that responses should be interpreted with caution and in the appropriate context, as often very limited information is provided.