Do you feel you always get the short-end of the stick? Have you been passed-up for a promotion? It could simply be a coincidence that your shortcomings are all happening at once. However, if you’re repeatedly overlooked for opportunities, it’s time for you to get a reality check. The reason it seems nobody notices you and your abilities is because you’re not persistent. For example, you didn’t get the promotion you wanted at work, so you decide to fade in the background and give up. This can be frustrating and hard to overcome, but regaining confidence not impossible.

There may be numerous reasons why a person is not persistent, but there’s one that sticks out:Β low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is the bottom line of why a person easily gives up in trying to achieve goals, and it can also hinder personal relationships with friends and family. Having a low self-esteem is normally associated with the following symptoms: Β depression, anxiety, unreasonableness, lack trust in others; self-injurious behavior(s), overeating, alcohol and drug abuse; and eating disorder(s).

How is not being persistent associated with having a low self-esteem? You can find out by asking honest questions about yourself, such as:

Can you name your strengths without hesitating?

Do I have a negative outlook on myself and people around me?

Have you set goals for yourself?

Have you reached past goals?

How do you deal with stress?

Do you overeat, not eat at all, abuse alcohol or drugs?

How do you handle disappointments?

How do you feel after being passed-up for someone else?

How do you feel when you don’t complete a project or goal?

When speaking with friends and family, are your conversations upbuilding and enjoyable, or are you complaining and being negative about life?

Let’s use a scenario to drive home the point: you have attempted to be persistent in finding a date for Friday night, and so has your friend. But it seems it’s easier for your friend to find a date than you. So Friday night comes along, and your friend and date are out to have a good time… without you. You sit home alone wondering why you cannot find a date, period. You reason it’s because you’re not worthy of being loved (classic symptom of low self-esteem). You start feeling something is wrong with you (another symptom of low self-esteem). Therefore, you reach the conclusion that you will stop trying to find a date (in other words, you’ll stop being persistent). Next time the opportunity comes around to find a date, you’ll find excuses to why you’re not pursuing a love interest and begin being negative about love, dating, and marriage.

By now, you should understand how low self-esteem is the root cause for non-persistence. So how can you regain your confidence so you can be persistent in life? Consider the following tips:

    • Have a positive outlook of life.
    • Do not give up on your goals and dreams.
    • Associate with people who will build you up, and encourage you to be persistent.
    • Talk to a trusted friend or family member about how you feel when faced with disappointments.
    • If necessary, speak to a licensed psychologists or counselor if you feel uncomfortable talking to people you know.
    • Be assertive in your decisions.

Whether you want to admit it or not, low self-esteem is the root cause for being non-persistent. After you have been disappointed numerous times in your life and it seems you’re always overlooked, it’s easy to stop trying and fade into the background. Although it takes time to overcome the negative feelings, it is not impossible. Once you do, you will be on your way to regaining confidence in a persistent manner.

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