To learn from any argument, you need to take the correct steps to ensure the problem doesn’t escalate. After all, if you are both on tenterhooks, any misplaced words could make matters worse. To stop this from happening, you need to know what actions to avoid.
Don’t Stay Quiet
When you are involved in an argument, it is tempting to keep your distance in the hope that the feelings will die down over time. However, this is a recipe for disaster. Staying quiet only allows the negativity to brew, and you will both grow to resent each other over time. No matter how uncomfortable you may feel, the problems need addressing, and that can only happen through communication.
Don’t delay in resolving a conflict. The longer you leave it, the harder it is going to be to sort out any issues you have. After the initial bad vibes have dispersed, your priority should be to get the situation resolved as quickly as possible. Of course, be sure you are calm and rational before you confront the other person, as you will not get anywhere if frustration gets the better of you. However, once you have thought through your actions, fix the situation as quickly as you can.
You Make the First Move
It is up to you to move first and work towards resolving the conflict. If both of you sit there waiting for the other to come forward, nothing is ever going to happen. Getting to the bottom of your disagreement requires one of you to act, as all too often, relationships are ruined by stubbornness. It takes guts to make the first move, but by doing so, you are showing the other person that you want to sort out your problems and move on.
Try Not to Be Presumptuous
It can be easy to think you know what the other person is thinking and interpret the worst. However, many disagreements come down to a simple misunderstanding. It helps to think about every aspect of your conflict and see if you have hard evidence behind your accusations. If you can’t back it up, it’s just your opinion, and you could be mistaken.
Don’t Get Angry
Getting angry with the other person does nothing to help resolve the conflict. When you confront them, you should be calm and assured, while remaining empathetic to their plight. If they are critical of you, try to take it on board without snapping back, and explain why your opinion is different. Remember, the aim is to find a resolution, so you can both learn from the argument.
Resolving a conflict is a challenging experience, but one that is necessary for you to move on in your life, and potentially save a friendship. There is a delicate balance between getting your point across and aggravating the situation. However, if you prepare yourself properly, and aim for a quick resolution.
Cover photo: By smile_kerry via Flickr.