Best Cat Quotes

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn’t there, and finding it.

What greater gift than the love of a cat.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Your dog thinks you’re a god. Your cat thinks the dog’s an asshole.

People who don’t like cats haven’t been around them. There’s the old joke: dogs have masters, cats have staff.

If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from injury to animals.

Cats are a standing rebuke to behavioral scientists wanting to know how the minds of animals work. The mind of a cat is an unscrutable mystery.

The mouse is wise, but the cat is wiser.

The dog is a peasant and the cat is a gentleman.

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.

Cats – a standing rebuke to behavioural scientists . . . least human of all creatures.

Let a man get up and say, Behold, this is the truth, and instantly I perceive a sandy cat filching a piece of fish in the background. Look, you have forgotten the cat, I say.

Without doubt cats are intellectuals who have been, by some mysterious decree of Providence, deprived of the comfort of the word.

We Jews have put issue upon issue to the American people. Then we promote both sides of the issue as confusion reigns. With their eye’s fixed on the issues, they fail to see who is behind every scene. We Jews toy with the American public as a cat toys with a mouse.

I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat.

Kids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons, ball-point pens, moving goldfish, cigarette butts, and cat food. Try to coax a little beef stew into their mouths and they look at you like a puppy when you stand over him with the Sunday paper rolled up.

I cannot persuade myself that a beneficient and omnipotent God would have designedly created…that a cat should play with mice.

A mouse who wishes to fool the cat doesn’t simply scamper out of its hole whenever it feels the slightest urge.

Want me to sell my soul, just so I can go gold. You can have the cars, clothes the jewerlies, the houses and hos. Cats do anything for a little bit of fame and a little bit of change. Industry snakes, they ain’t friendly. Thought she loved me, she just tricked me.

Know yourself. Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

Very few people have no opinions about cats.

Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.

If Men and Women took their Pleasures as noisily as the Cats, what Londoner could ever hope to sleep of nights?

Prince Charming is very nice and very honest and very confident in who he is and funny and knows how to have a kick-ass fun time. Is willing to melt away so that nothing else exists in the world except himself and his princess and loves food and cats and every life form except human beings which is not necessary.

In the dark, all cats are grey.

Married men live longer. Yes. And an indoor cat also lives longer. It’s a furball with a broken spirit, that can only look out on a world it can never enjoy. But it does technically live longer.

It is in their eyes that their magic resides.

If you want to be a psychological novelist and write about human beings, the best thing you can do is keep a pair of cats.

My idea of absolute happiness is to be in bed on a rainy day, with my blankie, my cat, and my dog.

All dogs look up to you. All cats look down on you. Only the pig looks at you as an equal

The smallest feline is a masterpiece.

I value in the cat the independent and almost ungrateful spirit which prevents her from attaching herself to any one, the indifference with which she passes from the salon to the housetop. When we caress her, she stretches herself and arches her back responsively; but this is because she feels an agreeable sensation, not because she takes a silly satisfaction, like the dog, in faithfully loving a thankless master. The cat lives alone, has no need of society, obeys only when she pleases, pretends to sleep that she may see more clearly, and scratches everything on which she can lay her paw.

Of all our sunny world, i wish only for a garden sofa where a cat is sunning itself

The presidents against Congress, the Senate is against the House, people are against politicians, and I’m against cats in the house.

The cat lives alone, has no need of society, obeys only when she pleases, pretends to sleep that she may see more clearly, and scratches everything on which she can lay her paw.