Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn’t there, and finding it.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Your dog thinks you’re a god. Your cat thinks the dog’s an asshole.

The dog is a peasant and the cat is a gentleman.

Want me to sell my soul, just so I can go gold. You can have the cars, clothes the jewerlies, the houses and hos. Cats do anything for a little bit of fame and a little bit of change. Industry snakes, they ain’t friendly. Thought she loved me, she just tricked me.

A mouse who wishes to fool the cat doesn’t simply scamper out of its hole whenever it feels the slightest urge.

I cannot persuade myself that a beneficient and omnipotent God would have designedly created…that a cat should play with mice.

If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from injury to animals.

Kids are without a doubt the most suspicious diners in the world. They will eat mud (raw or baked) rocks, paste, crayons, ball-point pens, moving goldfish, cigarette butts, and cat food. Try to coax a little beef stew into their mouths and they look at you like a puppy when you stand over him with the Sunday paper rolled up.

Without doubt cats are intellectuals who have been, by some mysterious decree of Providence, deprived of the comfort of the word.

Cats are a standing rebuke to behavioral scientists wanting to know how the minds of animals work. The mind of a cat is an unscrutable mystery.

My dad, Donald, was a vet and had a practice in Yorkshire. Cats and dogs were his bread and butter, but his greatest love was large animals.

Say, Nana… You look like stray cat, wild and proud. But I can see the wound in your heart. At the time I just thought it was cool. I never realized how hurt you were.

My idea of absolute happiness is to be in bed on a rainy day, with my blankie, my cat, and my dog.

I don’t hate cats…as long as they stay on the freeway, where they belong.

People who wish to salute the free and independent side of their evolutionary character acquire cats. People who wish to pay homage to their servile and salivating roots own dogs.

The best model of a cat is another cat…, specially the same cat.

If you want to be a psychological novelist and write about human beings, the best thing you can do is keep a pair of cats.

I sat on the bed. I looked at the Rorschach blot. I tried to make it look like a spreading tree, shadows pooled beneath it, but it didn’t. It looked more like a dead cat I once found, the fat, glistening grubs writhing blindly, squirming over each other, frantically tunneling away from the light. But even that isn’t the real horror. The horror is this: in the end, it is simply a picture of empty meaningless blackness.

I want to be remembered as one of the illest, youngest cats to do it successfully and to keep doing it successfully. My early story alone deserves to be told, because at 6 years-old I was discovered by one of the best producers of all time, Dr. Dre, and I went on tour at 6, and appeared on Snoop Dogg’s album at the age of 7. And I’m still here. Nobody else has a story like that, and it has to end great.

It is in their eyes that their magic resides.

I just can’t get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat.

I am a huge animal lover. Growing up, my mother and I rescued countless animals – dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, even a turtle. I have been accused of caring more about animals than I do about people.

With the certitude of a true believer, Vellya Paapen had assured the twins that there was no such thing in the world as a black cat. He said that there were only black cat chaped holes in the universe.

All I’m saying is we got plenty of Texans, and people from Montana, and New Jersey, and Wyoming, or Kansas City. We got plenty of actors. So we don’t need some cat from Cardiff-upon-Rosemary-upon-Thyme, or whatever the hell it is, playing people from Montana. And in the reverse, they got plenty of people from Cardiff-upon-Rosemary-upon-Thyme that they don’t need our asses coming over there trying to do British accents.

Heads of warring nations could learn a lot about how to achieve lasting peace by watching dogs and cats who live in the same house.

Fairy tales thrive on black and white. In life, there’s only grey – no bad guys, no good guys. You could be the Cheshire cat, Snow White, a troll pr a pastry-making witch whose diet consists only of little kids, but you’ll always be you.

I had been playing with my local band, Skinny Cat. I had been to quite a few auditions before UFO, managed to get the gig and then not want to do it!

I did not run for office to be helping out a bunch of, you know, fat cat bankers on Wall Street.

There are a lot of sources of information out there, so why don’t you curate for yourself a list, like a real timeline of information, like the New York Times, or JetBlue, or your friends, or this comedian, or this guy who pretends to be a cat, or whatever it is, whatever entertains you, whatever you find useful.

Married men live longer. Yes. And an indoor cat also lives longer. It’s a furball with a broken spirit, that can only look out on a world it can never enjoy. But it does technically live longer.

My cat did that the other day when he came in from the garden.

In the dark, all cats are grey.

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.

Prince Charming is very nice and very honest and very confident in who he is and funny and knows how to have a kick-ass fun time. Is willing to melt away so that nothing else exists in the world except himself and his princess and loves food and cats and every life form except human beings which is not necessary.