Browsing Topic Best Comedy Quotes

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.

Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not ‘content creator’?

If they’re black, it’s a gang. If they’re Italian, it’s a mob. If they’re Jewish, it’s a coincidence, and you should neeeever speak about it.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

There shouldn’t be so many things that are so sacred that you can’t laugh about them. Laughter is so important.

Trump is good for comedy but bad for the world.

To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don’t really worry that much about what other people think of me.

Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.

Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.

Think about yourself at least once in your life otherwise you may miss the best comedy in this world.

God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he’s stuck with so many bad actors who don’t know how to play funny.

If we could just find out who’s in charge, we could kill him.

You got one guy going boom, one guy going whack, and one guy not getting in the endzone.

Well, a lot of politics is communicating with people, and obviously comedy has something to do with that. I’ve been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you’re under pressure.

Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.

Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.

To be good, you need to believe in what you’re doing.

Comedy is more difficult than drama. I think it’s really difficult to make someone laugh because people have very different comedic sensibilities. In drama, you can get away with being a great actor and surrounded by great actors and having good writing. But in comedy you have to listen and you have to perform with a certain rhythm, because if you don’t, it’s like playing a wrong note in the orchestra and you can hear the off key and it will fall flat and you won’t get that instant response.

Gentlemen, start your egos!

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it’s like, what? You want no Comedy Central?

In the creation of comedy, it is paradoxical that tragedy stimulates the spirit of ridicule; because ridicule, I suppose is an attitude of defiance: we must laugh in the face of our helplessness against the forces of nature – or go insane

I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

In this desperate way, I started many a comedy.

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R’s only one begins with an R.

This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer’s disease where they slowly began to recover other people’s lost memories.

I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

Always do whatever’s next.

It’s the American view that everything has to keep climbing: productivity, profits, even comedy.

I went into a McDonald’s yesterday and said, ‘I’d like some fries.’ The girl at the counter said, ‘Would you like some fries with that?’

Comedy is just complaining in an entertaining way, Enterplaining.

Comedy is a meritocracy. If you are funny, you are there. If you are not, you are out.