Browsing Topic Best Exes Quotes

I’ve got three women in my life: my mama, ex baby mama and my new baby mama.

Those who don’t know how to weep with their whole heart, don’t know how to laugh either.

Never does any pride enter the heart of a man ex­cept that his in­tel­li­gence de­creases by the same amount.

The truth is that everybody has a past and everybody has an ex.

Well, there doesn’t seem anything else for an ex-President to do but to go into the country and raise big pumpkins.

When your ex says ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’. Say ‘that’s the point’.

My ex—may he soon discover tiny worms have invaded his body and are slowly eating him alive—once told me God made men so perfect because He’d wanted to make up for the inadequacies of women.

Losing is like my ex-wife… it’s a b****, and it takes a bigger man than me to live with it.

Well, I have one consolation. No candidate was ever elected ex-president by such a large majority!

In the USA, it’s harder for a black man with no criminal record to find a job than a white man with a criminal record, which is to say that race is actually a bigger factor than ex-felon status. But if you’re both, it’s almost impossible to find a job.

When I became a feminist, when the movement started in the late sixties, I started writing because I had something urgent to say. My first novel, Memoirs of an Ex-Prom Queen, is the product of that urgency.

In my experience, staying in a marriage that my ex and I both agreed had all its best moments behind it was epically depressing.

My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.

Which is more worthwhile earning: a large fortune or the esteem and gratitude of the nation? This question is prompted anew by the death of ex-Secretary of the Interior [Franklin K.] Lane. He remained in public service, doing most noble work, until his means became absolutely exhausted, and he died before having had the opportunity to reaccumulate any bank account…. He died leaving no estate whatsoever. Is what he did leave more to be desired, more to be coveted, than a fortune reaching into six or seven figures?

Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.

Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film Funny Girl at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang out with all those friends you blew off to hang out with your ex. I truly believe that, through a combination of Nutella, old pals and Barbra Streisand, we can achieve happiness and, very probably, world peace.

Other than his ex-wife and despite appearances with a series of cultivated blondes, Edward de Bono has never publicly aligned himself with a woman. ‘I’m looking for a fat, cross-eyed hunchback,’ he explains, stifling a giggle. ‘A prosthetic hump would do.’ His delight evaporates when asked about his three grandchildren. ‘Am I a doting grandfather?’ He pauses. ‘I’m a … something grandfather, yes.’ The fact that De Bono remains unperturbed by this lack betrays an emotionally austere childhood, and his passions for play, toys, and bad jokes tell of the same deprivation.

You think it’s hard for me when I go in the ring and fight? That’s the least of my problems. I think about the five years that I did in prison. I think about the nine years on parole. Nothing – nothing! – can compare to that struggle. I’m telling you, from being an ex-convict with 30 convictions, a degree nowhere to be found and black? I’m done.

I’ve spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.

I ask a lot because I’m very curious – especially about ex-girlfriends. I’m pretty good at getting the answers, too.

Ex-Professor Moriarty of mathematical celebrity… is the Napoleon of crime, Watson.

Please don’t worry. It’s a psychological complaint, common amongst ex-librarians. You see, she thinks she’s a coffee table edition.

An ex-girlfriend once got upset when I told her that music is the most important thing in my life. It’s more important than anyone else could ever be. I don’t want to be overly dramatic and say it’s the only thing that gets me up and keeps me going. But people in your life come and go. As you go through your life, you make friendships, you break friendships, you have relationships. Music is the one thing I’ve always been able to rely on.

History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford and Nixon – See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Evil.

My ex-wife was trying to be nice once, so she took me to a concert in Los Angeles. I went with her to Symphony Hall, and the orchestra was playing. When the show started, the spotlight was sharp on this one man (Andres Segovia) and he had sombrero on and his guitar propped up like this and, oh man … he was a master ! – I really heard it. That one guitar sounded like a whole orchestra to me.

Yes, exes can be good friends, but after a certain time. Though no break-up is a good break-up, time heals everything, including broken friendships. It also depends on the kind of people they are, their mindsets and the reasons for the break ups.

I got an email from my ex, telling me that she has AIDS. I didn’t know how to comfort her, so I just wrote back I know.

No foundation that I am aware of has hired ex-journalists to promote a thoroughgoing inquiry.

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.

I met my darling wife Wilnelia in 1980 when we were on the judging panel for the Miss World contest at the Royal Albert Hall. With two ex-wives and five daughters, I thought I wouldn’t be involved with anyone for a long time – if ever. Winnie was so gorgeous, my jaw dropped – and it’s a big jaw to drop.

Yves Saint Laurent gave women power, Chanel liberated them and when I joined Lanvin, I thought ‘what do I bring to women? One day, I received an SMS from a friend in New York – she was in a taxi on the way to court to face her arsehole ex-husband, and she said to me ‘Alber, I am wearing a Lanvin dress, and I feel so protected.’ That to me was the biggest compliment I ever received. To have a 500 gram piece of silk make her feel protected – that made me very happy indeed.

Pakistan’s ruler Pervez Musharraf predicted the Taliban will fall for hiding Osama bin Laden. Ex-king Zahir Shah is standing by to replace Mullah Mohammed Omar. And the most ominous sign of all, President Bush has learned all their names.

If your ex is making things up about you, he’s obviously miserable. It’s just like, ‘Wow, this person really cares to go out of their way to start a rumor about me.’ I’ve dealt with it so much, obviously. The first couple of times, it really sucks. But then [they] just come out with something else. If you dwell on it, it’s going to make you miserable. Just move on and laugh it off.

I sometimes think it ironic for an ex-seaman, longshoreman, truck driver, policeman, bus driver, etc… to find success writing children’s novels.

My ex-husband happens to be one of the most gifted moviemakers. And what is so bizarre about working with someone like that? I guess it is bizarre to be good friends with your ex-husband.