Browsing Topic Best Funny Family Quotes

You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.

There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother’s age.

Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.

Earthmen are not proud of their ancestors and never invite them round to dinner.

If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.

To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there.

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

My children love my mother, and I tell my children, that is not the same woman I grew up with…That is an old woman trying to get into heaven now.

Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.

I been with strangers all day and they treated me like family. I come in here to family and you treat me like a stranger.

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Accidents will occur in the best regulated families.

To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order; we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.

I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

The family – that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.

When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.

The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

There is no cure for laziness but a large family helps.

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you’ll be going, ‘you know, we’re alright. We are dang near royalty.’

Sometimes it’s heartbreaking to see your siblings as the people they’ve become. Maybe that’s why we all stay away from each other as a matter of course.

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.

Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.