Browsing Topic Best Funny Political Quotes

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

I’ve been a politician and so I’m sometimes cynical about what politicians won’t do. When I hear a politician say something that makes no sense whatsoever, I think there’s one of two things there: There’s money or the promise of money.

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.

Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney.

Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.

A businessman cannot force you to buy his product; if he makes a mistake, he suffers the consequences; if he fails, he takes the loss. If bureaucrat makes a mistake, you suffer the consequences; if he fails, he passes the loss on to you.

Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush – or as Republicans put it, let’s talk about gay people and abortion!

Next time someone says, ‘Where has big government ever gotten us?’ the correct answer is ‘Mars.’

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don’t believe in evolution.

Didn’t we settle contraception & affirmative action? If the GOP keep going backwards they’ll soon be debating slavery.

All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.

I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress’s role.

On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.

To make even fewer friends try talking about politics as much as you talk about yourself.

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

If the right to vote were expanded to seven year olds … its policies would most definitely reflect the ‘legitimate concerns’ of children to have ‘adequate’ and ‘equal’ access to ‘free’ french fries, lemonade and videos.

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward.

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it’s just the opposite.

If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.