Browsing Topic Best Funny Wedding Quotes

A man doesn’t know what happiness is until he’s married. By then it’s too late.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

you know… there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time…. husband!!!

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?

My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they’ll never get all the pennies out of the pot.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.

The only time I ever look good dancing is if I’m next to my dad at a wedding.

Oh! How many torments lie in the small circle of a wedding ring.

In the end, it’s all about perseverance.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other… until death do them join.

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

The surest way to be alone is to get married.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Music played at weddings always reminds me of the music played for soldiers before they go into battle.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.

Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

A husband is like a fire. He goes out when unattended.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar – a practice which is still continued.

It is more blessed to give than receive; for example, wedding presents.

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.

‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.