Browsing Topic Best Humorous Quotes

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for life.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Never mistake motion for action.

Everyone smiles in the same language.

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

There are no facts, only interpretations.

In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

Some people have no idea what they’re doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass.

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

You are never too old to become younger!

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

I’ve heard Eric Clapner, … I think it was a wonderful thing that Eric Clapner the musician did…So I think that’s the wonderful part about it, but listen – I like Eric Clapner!

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

In closing, the greatest threat to peace on this earth is the arrogance of a super-power [America] that is out of control.

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.