Browsing Topic Best Political Humor Quotes

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.

A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.

I can’t imagine anyone voting against establishing a commission on the greatest assault since the Civil War on the Capitol. But at any rate, I came for ice cream.

Bernie can only rant about billionaires. Amy has to read the Mexican president’s name. Bloomberg is a mumbling disaster. Warren is lecturing on subterfuge and prevarication. Buttigieg looks like his mom forgot to pack his graham crackers. Biden is just sad.

It is interesting because as a writer you want to heighten how ridiculous things are. But everything he says (Trump) is already so ridiculous that it is hard to heighten it.

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say ‘elevator’, we say ‘lift’… they say ‘President’, we say ‘stupid psychopathic git.

There are prayers that help us last through the day, or endure the night. There are prayers of friends and strangers, that give us strength for the journey. And there are prayers that yield our will to a will greater than our own.

You’ll hear people say it’s racist to test. Folks, it’s racist not to test. Because guess who gets shuffled through the system oftentimes? Children whose parents don’t speak English as a first language, inner-city kids. It’s so much easier to quit on somebody than to remediate.

The budget caps were busted, mightily so. And we are reviewing with people like Judd Gregg from New Hampshire and others some budgetary reform measures that will reinstate – you know, possibly reinstate budgetary discipline. But the caps no longer – the caps, I guess they’re there. But they didn’t mean much.

I haven’t had a chance to talk, but I’m confident we’ll get a bill that I can live with if we don’t.

If a person doesn’t have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all.

Conspiracy theories abound in American politics. I don’t think we need to be subliminable about the differences between our views on prescription drugs.

As far as the legal hassling and wrangling and posturing in Florida, I would suggest you talk to our team in Florida led by Jim Baker.

Anyway, after we go out and work our hearts out, after you go out and help us turn out the vote, after we’ve convinced the good Americans to vote, and while they’re at it, pull that old George W lever, if I’m the one, when I put my hand on the Bible, when I put my hand on the Bible, that day when they swear us in, when I put my hand on the Bible, I will swear to not – to uphold the laws of the land.

I don’t remember debates. I don’t think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did, but I don’t remember.

We will allow private and religious groups to compete to provide services in every federal, state and local social program.

And we need a full affront on an energy crisis that is real in California and looms for other parts of our country if we don’t move quickly.

Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment.

We will keep a commitment to pluralism and not discriminate for or against Methodist or Mormons or Muslims or good people with no faith at all.

This campaign not only hears the voices of the entrepreneurs and the farmers and the entrepreneurs, we hear the voices of those struggling to get ahead.

It has sustained me in moments of success and in moments of disappointment. Without it, I’d be a different person. And without it, I doubt I’d be here today.

Think about that. Two hundred and eighty-five new or expanded programs, $2 trillion more in new spending, and not one new bureaucrat to file out the forms or answer the phones?

These demands are not open to negotiation or discussion.

I hope we get to the bottom of the answer. It’s what I’m interested to know.

I do remain confident in Linda. She’ll make a fine labor secretary. From what I’ve read in the press accounts, she’s perfectly qualified.

We have set out to promote the work of community and faith-based charities. Government cannot be replaced by charities, but it can welcome them as partners instead of resenting them as rivals.

Well, that’s going to be up to the pundits and the people to make up their mind. I’ll tell you what is a president for him, for example, talking about my record in the state of Texas. I mean, he’s willing to say anything in order to convince people that I haven’t had a good record in Texas.

If I’m the president, we’re going to have emergency-room care, we’re going to have gag orders.

It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned his party’s nomination to start speculating about vice presidents.

Tyrants and dictators will accept no other gods before them. They require disobedience to the First Commandment. They seek absolute control and are threatened by faith in God. They fear only the power they cannot possess – the power of truth. So they resent the living example of the devout, especially the devotion of a unique people chosen by God.

I am mindful that we’re all sinners.

There’s Adam Clymer, major league asshole from The New York Times.

Governor Bush will not stand for the subsidation of failure.

It would be helpful if we opened up ANWR. I think it’s a mistake not to. And I would urge you all to travel up there and take a look at it, and you can make the determination as to how beautiful that country is.