Browsing Topic Best Sarcasm Quotes

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Citizens of Iraq, Libya, Afghanistan, and Yugoslavia have seen how peaceful is NATO.

Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.

Can the sarcasm,’ he said. ‘Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

I don’t know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn’t.

I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.

If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

You can’t find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

Satire is a sort of glass wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own; which is the chief reason for that kind reception it meets with in the world, and that so very few are offended with it.

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm. It’s really funny.

My uncle, Mr. Stephen Maple, had been at the same time the most successful and the least respectable of our family, so that we hardly knew whether to take credit for his wealth or to feel ashamed of his position.

I think you want a little unofficial help. Three undetected murders in one year won’t do, Lestrade. But you handled the Molesey Mystery with less than your usual – that’s to say, you handled it fairly well.

He had never seen a woman doctor before, and his whole conservative soul rose up in revolt at the idea. He could not recall any biblical injunction that the man should remain ever the doctor and the woman the nurse, and yet he felt as if a blasphemy had been committed.

People went out there and they wrote articles and went on television shows saying that I am an operative that the CIA who used Jon Stewart to recruit me. So Jon Stewart, who actually – a guy from America was used by the CIA in order to recruit me for the CIA and be – make me a CIA agent to use sarcasm to bring down the government and bring down the country because this was all, of course, part of a worldwide conspiracy against the country.

Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story

Brothers are a blessing for one thing. There is no possibility of any young lady getting unreasonably conceited if she be endowed with them.

The unexpected has happened so continually in my life that it has ceased to deserve the name.

We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous.

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.

Well, sir, let us do what we can to curtail this visit, which can hardly be agreeable to you, and is inexpressibly irksome to me.

A fine horse or a beautiful woman, I cannot look at them unmoved, even now when seventy winters have chilled my blood.

Love has been taken away from the poets, and has been brought within the domain of true science. It may prove to be one of the great cosmic elementary forces. When the atom of hydrogen draws the atom of chlorine towards it to form the perfected molecule of hydrochloric acid, the force which it exerts may be intrinsically similar to that which draws me to you. Attraction and repulsion appear to be the primary forces. This is attraction.

[on pop idol Donny Osmond] He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.

The sky was of the deepest blue, with a few white, fleecy clouds drifting lazily across it, and the air was filled with the low drone of insects or with a sudden sharper note as bee or bluefly shot past with its quivering, long-drawn hum, like an insect tuning-fork.