Everyone knows that romantic relationships must sometimes come to an end, but many people are reluctant to end a friendship. While it’s never fun to have to end something that has been positive for you in the fast, sometimes friendship fades or becomes toxic. When that happens, it’s okay to pull the plug and move on with your life.
14 signs that it might be time to walk away from a friendship
Spending time with them feels like a chore.
Maybe there was a time when you looked forward to going out with your friend and couldn’t wait to talk. But now you dread seeing them and wish you could just stay home. Maybe you cancel plans a lot because the idea of spending time with them is just too much. If you don’t look forward to seeing your friend, then maybe the friendship isn’t giving you everything you need or want.
You always put the energy into the friendship.
Do you feel like you are always the friend who puts in the energy and your friend is just along for the ride? This could mean a couple of things. It might mean that your friend is taking advantage of you, and that’s not a balanced friendship. It could also mean that your friend is no longer interested in the relationship but just hasn’t told you.
They tell your secrets.
Friends keep each other’s secrets. If you’ve told your friend something in confidence and they’ve blabbed it to other people, that is a sign of a toxic friendship. It’s best to end things before you get hurt.
They bring you down.
After you’ve spent time with your friend do you feel energized and confident? Or do you feel depressed and generally bad? Sometimes negative people can have an attitude that rubs off on the people around them. If your friend makes you feel bad, the friendship isn’t good for you.
They don’t have your back.
Friends take care of each other. They are there when one is in need of something, and they stand up for each other. If your friend doesn’t have your back you have to ask yourself if they are a real friend or not. This is especially true if you have shown time and time again that you will be there for them.
You only communicate on social media.
Is social media the only way you communicate with your friend? Would you have any idea what was going on in your friend’s life if you didn’t see posts and other social media communication?
While it’s not strictly necessary to have face-to-face communication with a friend, it is an odd friendship when two people live in the same area but never get together. If you are not spending any real-time with your friend, the relationship might be pointless.
You don’t share any friends.
You don’t have to have friends in common with someone for that person to be a friend, but most of the time there are friend groups. If you don’t have any friends in common, ask yourself why. Is it because your friend just isn’t connected to your other friends, or is there another reason?
Are you embarrassed to introduce your friend to your other friends? Is your friend embarrassed by you? Or was that friend once part of the group but was slowly rejected by your other friends? It’s worth considering why you don’t have any of the same friends.
Conversations feel forced.
Conversation with a friend usually flows freely with both people getting a chance to talk. If you feel like you have to force conversation, maybe you just don’t have anything to talk about with that person. If that’s the case, you have to ask yourself why you are friends.
You feel like you have to act like someone you’re not.
Do you have a friend who makes you feel like you have to pretend to be someone else? Maybe you are afraid of offending them with your political beliefs or maybe you are pretending to like a particular activity that your friend likes. Whatever you are pretending, that’s a sign that the friendship isn’t doing you any favors and might need to go.
They dismiss your feelings.
Friends should always be sensitive to each other’s feelings, even when they don’t understand them or agree with them. It is a sign of a toxic friendship when one person acts like the other’s feelings don’t matter or are not valid. If your friend is doing that to you, you probably don’t have a real friend in that person.
They make you feel bad for saying no.
Do you dread saying no to your friend because they will become passive-aggressive or even outrightly hostile to you? In a friendship, you shouldn’t feel like you have to say yes to everything. Someone who makes you feel bad for asserting yourself or for saying no is toxic.
You don’t reschedule missed plans.
When the two of you make plans and one has to cancel, do you reschedule? If you both are more likely to just let it go, your friendship might be fading. It could be that both of you are over the friendship.
You don’t miss them.
When you don’t spend time with your friend for a while, do you miss their company? If the answer is no, then it might be time to let that friendship go. Friends usually miss spending time together and look forward to the next time they can go out or visit.
You are drained after spending time with them.
Some relationships are just emotionally exhausting. If this describes a friendship, then there is really no reason to keep that friendship going. You should be surrounding yourself with people who energize you, not with people who drain you of your energy.
Some friendships last a lifetime, but it is okay that others don’t. If you have a friendship in your life that just isn’t giving you anything positive, it’s okay to let that friendship go. You deserve to be happy in your relationships and to spend time with people who make you feel good. If your friendship seems to be fading, or your friend isn’t treating you right, consider ending the relationship. You might find that you feel a lot better once you’ve made the break.
End of Friendship Quotes
“I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.”
“Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.”
“The friendship that can cease has never been real.”
– St. Jerome
“Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot forgive each other’s little failings.”
~ Jean de la Bruyere
“I was tired of pretending that I was someone else just to get along with people, just for the sake of having friendships.”
~ Kurt Cobain
“I have walked away from friendships when I’ve realized that someone smiles to someone’s face and talks about them the minute they walk out of a room. I have no room in my life for that kind of negative energy anymore.”
~ Sophia Bush