Ashley Jensen Quotes

Life’s too short to worry about injecting botulism into your face to get rid of a tiny line because you’ve laughed too much. To me, that’s a bit warped.

Americans are so direct. They’d ask me, ‘What’s your five-year plan? Do you have a five-year plan?’ I don’t know what I’m having for my tea tonight let alone a five-year plan.

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday.

I’ve reached a point in my life where going to the supermarket is a day out.

I think because I did become a well-known face in my thirties and not in my twenties, I was pretty settled in my boots and I knew who I was. And I think there’s a sort of Scottish thing, too, where you don’t take yourself too seriously, and you don’t get carried away with your own sense of self-importance.

Mind you, if a blockbuster movie was offered, I wouldn’t say no. I can do accents – I don’t always have to be Scottish.

I still giggle when someone asks for my address and I say, Hollywood, Los Angeles.

I was in King Lear with Sir Tom Courtenay at The Royal Exchange in Manchester. In fact, that’s where I met my husband. I was playing Regan and he was playing Cornwall and together we fell in love plucking out Gloucester’s eyes. It was great fun. Everyone assumes that I was Cordelia because I’ve got blonde hair but I was Regan and they gave me a long auburn wig. It was great, good fun.

I know what I look like. I’m not a babe who’s automatically going to be the leading-lady type. I think I would always be cast as the friend. I probably tend to look crap more often than I look good. I like messing around and pulling funny faces and doing funny walks.

I take my hat off to mums who have lots of kids. Anyone that says being a mum isn’t a full-time job has obviously never had any.

I wanted to live where I could pop to the bar that Humphrey Bogart took Lauren Bacall to, or the little restaurant where Charlie Chaplin had a booth.

I was on my own, living in Los Angeles, and I didn’t know my way around, so I thought I’d walk everywhere. Well, that certainly got me noticed. Any woman who walks any distance at all is automatically regarded as a hooker!