I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!
If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.
Every romance does not lead to sex.
And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl…there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go…’…if it hadn’t been for his head.
I wanted to give the house back to the parents.
If a white man falls off a chair drunk, it’s just a drunk. If a Negro does, it’s the whole damn Negro race.
Every father says the same thing: Where’s your mother?
My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.
If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up.
My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn’t because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.
You can’t compete with Walmart. But you can have smaller businesses that are successful.
It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.