Chris Rock Quotes

I think it’s better to have ideas. You can change an idea; changing a belief is trickier.

Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, ’cause we have a need to make sense.

Men are only as unfaithful as their options.

That’s a sure sign someone is going crazy – when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!

Men do not settle down. Men surrender.

I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it’s like, what? You want no Comedy Central?

If you’re the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.

Smart is knowing if you’re dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

We treat racism in this country like it’s a style that America went through. Like flared legs and lava lamps. Oh, that crazy thing we did. We were hanging black people. We treat it like a fad instead of a disease that eradicates millions of people. You’ve got to get it at a lab, and study it, and see its origins, and see what it’s immune to and what breaks it down.

I’m happy if everybody else is. I’m a big brother, the oldest. If you’re happy and I’m not, I’m cool with that. If I’m happy and you’re not, I’m sad.

I live way below my means.

Everything’s funny – in the right context and done by the right person.