Jeph Jacques Quotes

Your whole life people tell you to do what you love. But if you gotta do something else to pay the bills, you don’t automatically have to be miserable.

That’s what college is for – getting as many bad decisions as possible out of the way before you’re forced into the real world. I keep a checklist of ’em on the wall in my room.

Bachelor’s degrees make pretty good placemats if you get ’em laminated.

If only corporal punishment cured low self-esteem.

You ought to expect better of people. It encourages you to be a better person yourself.

What’s the point of havin’ a rapier wit if I can’t use it to stab people.

A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long.

The TV Tropes QC page is every single idiotic comment from my forums distilled into one HTML document.

‘Light fuse and get away’ may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned.

Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer.

The trick to writer’s block is to sack up and write through it, you see.

There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through… There needs to be a monster truck option.