Jordan Sonnenblick Quotes

Who’s that? That’s the King. Who’s he? The Duke. Who’s she? The Princess. What do they call you? The Count. What does that make me? Umm…how about the Peasant? And the name stuck.

You can be our critic. Would you dig that? (Yes, he was the last Man in America who could say dig with a straight face without referring to the process of using a tool to remove dirt from the ground.)

I’ll probably just stand in a corner, trying not to be noticed, until the decoration committee accidentally packs me into a box at the end of the night. There I will lie, crammed in between rolls of crepe paper, until the New Year’s dance two months from now. Jeffrey thought about this for a moment and said, Won’t they notice the box is too heavy when they go to put it away?

I tucked him in with his stuffed-animal pet dog—cleverly named Dog-Dog, by the way.

Annette had kissed me. Who would’a thunk it?

Renee was beautiful, but she was my friend now. On the other hand, Annette was my friend, but now she was beautiful. makes about as much sense as anything ever does with girls

This was the kid who used to toddle over to my bed at 6 o’ clock in the morning every weekend morning to pull on my blankets so I’d get up and watch cartoons with him. This was the kid who once made me play Hungry Hungry Hippos for an hour straight, until I thought my hands were going to fall off from slamming down those dumb little levers to make the hippos’ heads move. This was the kid who had spent an entire days at a time begging me to play Chutes and Ladders with him. And now he was feeling too sick to play with me.

And if there was one thing I’d finally figured out, it was that your mind is something you always CAN change.

Chicks dig a dude who’s sporting the latest eggplant turtleneck styles.

Note to self: It’s hard to attain a state of no-mind when you’re incredibly pumped up on tea and sugar and have to urinate every three and a half minutes.

Instead of agonizing about the things you can’t change, why don’t you try working on the things you can change

Some kids do drugs. Some kids light stuff on fire. Me, I eat oats.