Ian Holloway Quotes

Roy Keane’s like a shark. He has those eyes. You don’t know if he is going to buy you a drink or eat you.

He’s going to be what?! Oh for God’s sake. Sir David Beckham? You’re having a laugh. He’s just a good footballer with a famous bird.

Every dog has its day – and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.

Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon.

If I fell into a barrel of boobs, I’d come out sucking my thumb

My old trainer used to tell us not to blast, but to caress the ball whenever we took possession. If the ball were a woman… she would be spending all night with Berbatov.

There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth.

I don’t see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal? They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too. I suppose that’s one of the main reasons women come to football games, to see the young men take their shirts off. Of course they’d have to go and watch another game because my lads are as ugly as sin.

It’s all very well having a great pianist playing but it’s no good if you haven’t got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play.

Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings.

The dietician is going to get rid of that when he comes in. Although, first, we’ve got to get a dietician.

I’ve got four women in my house – my wife and my three daughters – and I tell you what, it’s pretty scary. I keep my head down and if we’re out shopping I try and look in a man’s shop while they make their minds up.