Browsing Topic Best Funny Hockey Quotes

Is hockey hard? I don’t know, you tell me. We need to have the strength and power of a football player, the stamina of a marathon runner, and the concentration of a brain surgeon. But we need to put all this together while moving at high speeds on a cold and slippery surface while 5 other guys use clubs to try and kill us. Oh yeah, did I mention that this whole time we’re standing on blades 1/8 of an inch thick? Is ice hockey hard? I don’t know, you tell me. Next question.

People didn’t know the difference between a blue line and a clothes line.

I was a multi-millionaire from playing hockey. Then I got divorced, and now I’m a millionaire.

We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don’t even have to go to the hospital.

Hockey players wear numbers because you can’t always identify the body with dental records.

We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor.

It’s not who wins the fight that’s important, it’s being willing to fight. If you get challenged and renege, everyone wants to take a shot at you.

At the end of each year I make a list of my mistakes and it’s pretty friggin long.

Street hockey is great for kids. It’s energetic, competitive, and skilful. And best of all, it keeps them off the street.

I was three-quarters down the list of guys I would be facing in my first game when I realized I was looking at our own roster.

The only difference between the Coyotes and ‘Days of Our Lives’ is that nobody has been shot on our team yet.

One road trip we were stuck on the runway for seven hours. The plane kept driving and driving until we arrived at the rink and I realized we were on a bus.

How would you like a job where, if you made a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?

Half the game is mental, the other half is being mental.

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.

Yeah, I’m cocky and I am arrogant. But that doesn’t mean I’m not a nice person.

When we’ve got the puck, they can’t score.

This is the only thing that has seen more parties than us.