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…I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An ‘avenging GOD’? One who created Hell for those who don’t believe? I thought we were the perfect and holy children of GOD? How could any limits possibly be put upon us? Hell.. really? I’m sorry, but… no. Wrong. You’re wrong. That’s an insane GOD and therefore not mine. Because, see, GOD would be very sane, don’t you get it?
What a glorious night. Every face I see is a memory. It may not be a perfectly perfect memory. Sometimes we had our ups and downs. But we’re all together and you’re mine for a night. And I’m going to break precedent and tell you my one-candle wish…that you would have a life as lucky as mine, where you can wake up one morning and say, ‘I don’t want anything more’. Sixty-five years. Don’t they go by in a blink?
I sometimes think, with a sad delight, that if one day, in a future I no longer belong to, these sentences, that I write, last with praise, I will at last have the people who understand me, those mine, the true family to be born in and be loved… I will only be understood in effigy, when affection no longer repays the dead the unaffection that was, when living.
I didn’t know I was a gay icon. I get a lot of mail – but I don’t get many bad letters – but I got a woman the other day that was so upset with me because they said, ‘How do you feel about the gay marriage thing?’ and my answer to that is, ‘I really don’t care with whom you sleep, I just care what kind of a decent human being you are.’ I figure all the rest of it is your business and not mine. And not hers, incidentally.
You know, a friend of mine asked me before I got here… it was when we were all shipping out. He asked me, ‘Why are you going to fight somebody else’s war? What, do y’all think you’re heroes?’ I didn’t know what to say at the time, but if he asked me again, I’d say no. I’d say there’s no way in hell. Nobody asks to be a hero. It just sometimes turns out that way.
No one really can have any idea if it’s luck or happenstance or timing or fate or the universe or just smart choices that grant you a good life, a happy one. All we can do is decide to own our choices no matter what, to honor them and ourselves as best we can. That whatever is within our control (and there is plenty that is not) is ours. Mine. Responsibility. Conviction.