Browsing Topic Best Funny Alcohol Quotes

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.

I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.

I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again.

Always be drunk … Get drunk militantly. Just get drunk.

You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.

An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.

I don’t know what reception I’m at, but for God’s sake give me a gin and tonic.

If you drink don’t drive. Don’t even putt.

That’s the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.

There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.

I’m too drunk to taste this chicken

Alcohol kills slowly. Good, I’m in no hurry.

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.

I like my whisky old and my women young.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

A horrid alcoholic explosion scatters all my good intentions like bits of limbs and clothes over the doorsteps and into the saloon bars of the tawdriest pubs.

An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.

No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness – or so good as drink.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat, it makes you lean…Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.