Browsing Topic Best Martini Quotes

The brain knows the real secret of seduction, more effective than even music and martinis. Just keep whispering, ‘Gee, you are really special’ to that sack of water and protein that is a body, and you can get it to do practically anything.

I should like to elbow aside the established pieties and raise my martini glass in salute to the mortal arts of pleasure.

When the movies first started, audiences were dumbstruck to see actresses walking around in evening gowns. They’d never seen anything like that. They wanted to be like those actors and actresses, so the movies informed their behavior. A lot of people started drinking martinis and smoking cigarettes because they felt it was cool.

New York was where we wanted to live when we were finally grown up, and drink martinis and stay out past bedtime.

I’m definitely an anomaly, but I’m making things. They’re selling, say, martinis, and I’m kind of making vintage Riesling. People aren’t going to sit there very often, not your average public, and your average music-business monster is not going to take the time to notice the overtones and the undertones inside the flavor. They’d rather just have the martini.

You can no more keep a martini in the refrigerator than you can keep a kiss there. The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden glory; it is one of the happiest marriages on earth and one of the shortest-lived.

Small children do not belong at an adult party, and especially should not be used like trained midgets to help serve martinis.

Now all the criminals in their suits and ties are free to drink martinis and watch the sunrise

Let us candidly admit that there are shameful blemishes on the American past, of which the worst by far is rum. Nevertheless, we have improved man’s lot and enriched his civilization with rye, bourbon and the Martini cocktail. In all history has any other nation done so much?

‘The tea is coming!’ …she may want a martini, but make her drink tea.

Does my hair look alright? Of course, it looks alright. Why am I asking you for? …We get lunch right? …Can we get this thing going? I gotta meet my girlfriend for a martini.

Like a brain surgeon who drinks a martini when he’s not on call, the successful kids in your school may smoke pot on occasion, but they are not stoners.

Here’s a simple way to abolish golf’s elitist and exclusionary image and make it a truly all-American sport: ditch that fifties-Republican-martini-drinker’s green Brooks Brothers-style sport jacket and make the winner of the Masters slip on something in, say, black leather with plenty of metal studs.

Hey, have you heard that one about the difference between me, Wit, and my loutish cousin, Hilarity? No? Okay, so I walk into a bar, you see, very unassuming, and order a martini. Then the bartender, Hilarity, hauls off and squirts me in the face with a seltzer bottle, ruining my n ice new camel hair suit, dousing my monocle and my watch fob, soaking my cravat. So, do I let him have what for, and blow my top? I do not. I simply say: Sorry, I believe I said ‘very dry’.

For as long as I can remember, my father saved. He saves money, he saves disfigured sticks that resemble disfigured celebrities, and most of all, he saves food. Cherry tomatoes, sausage biscuits, the olives plucked from other people’s martinis –he hides these things in strange places until they are rotten. And then he eats them.

Really, can anyone drink several martinis at lunch?

I had to give up martinis – I enjoyed them too much.

If Plato is a fine red wine, then Aristotle is a dry martini.

All the charming and beautiful things, from the Song of Songs, to bouillabaisse, and from the nine Beethoven symphonies to the Martini cocktail, have been given to humanity by men who, when the hour came, turned from tap water to something with color in it, and more in it than mere oxygen and hydrogen.

In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I’ve been retired all my life.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.

I suppose there must be idiots who dream of signing deals with publishers while fully intending to drink martinis in cool bars or ride around on skateboards. But the actual writers I know are experts in neurotic self-torture. Every page of writing is the result of a thousand tiny decisions and desperate acts of will.

A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like it up here? The priest says, If it wasn’t for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I’d be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini? Yes. Rosary, get the bishop a martini!

The martini: the only American invention as perfect as the sonnet.

Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman … or a bad woman.

I bought a piano once because I had the dream of playing As Time Goes By as some girl’s leaning on it drinking a martini. Great image. But none of it worked out. I can’t even play Chopsticks. But I’ve got a nice piano at my house!

You are my Marilyn. You are my lake full of fishes. You are my sky set, my ‘Hollywood in Miniature,’ my pink Cadillac, my highway, my martini, the stage for my heart to rock and roll on, the screen where my movies light up.

Martinis are like breasts, one isn’t enough, and three is too many.

This is an excellent martini — sort of tastes like it isn’t there at all, just a cold cloud.

I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.

See you just don’t understand women the way I do J.D. They want it all: a career apple martinis financial independence great shoes but at the same time—and this they’ll never admit—they are drawn to patriarchal men who are dominant and controlling. That’s the essence of the Darcy complex. He may be an asshole but he’s an asshole that gets the girl in the end.